“Friendly” and “divorce” aren’t words most people would typically choose to string together in a sentence, but this wonderful article by Karina Bland at the Chicago Sun Times explains exactly how people all over the country are discovering that divorces can, in fact, be friendly.
Most divorce cases still are handled in the traditional way, with lawyers on each side trying to get the best deal for their client, often through nasty disagreements over custody, child support, property settlements and finances. Divorcing couples typically aren’t feeling friendly toward each other anyway, and contentious experiences in court can make those feelings even worse.
“It makes it almost impossible to have a civil relationship going forward. You don’t forget what it’s like to be cross-examined by your spouse’s lawyer,” says family law attorney John Zarzynski, who co-founded Agreement House. “It sets them up for years and years of not being able to communicate well.”
Mediation is one kind of a friendly divorce. Collaboration is another, in which both parties retain their own attorneys but also use experts and work together for a solution for everyone. Couples don’t set foot in court in either instance. Proponents say it reduces the emotional costs on everyone; both children and adults start their new lives on relatively stable ground.
