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Helene Antel, Lawyer and Peacemaker – P.4

If you have been following along for the last three weeks, you are familiar with Helene Antel’s story. If you haven’t been following along, you should start now. Her story is incredible. A former criminal prosecutor district attorney, a ferocious advocate for her clients, and a victim of domestic violence. Listen to Part 1 here, Part 2 here, and Part 3 here.

This week Helene talks about what she learned from her life experiences and how they changed her attitude about the practice of law. She discovered that being kind, patient, thoughtful, and charming, made her a better, more effective lawyer. In her words:

“The long drawn out expensive divorce litigation is the perpetration of the anger, the fight. It’s that neither party is willing to move on; the fighting is just a way to maintain a connection. If you declare peace, then the relationship is really over. Without knowing it, many people are not ready to truly separate themselves from their partner so they connect through a long drawn out battle. But you can choose not to fight anymore. You can choose to learn how to mediate your conflicts or manage your conflicts and keep the family together.”

Listen now to the fourth and final interview with Helene Antel, lawyer and peacemaker.

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Helene Antel, Lawyer and Peacemaker – P.3

In last week’s episode of Ron and Robert on Divorce, we heard the story of Helene Antel, a successful, powerful, ferocious district attorney who was the victim of domestic violence. It took her years, but she finally learned how to follow the very advice she routinely gave her clients. Once she learned how to do that, she was able to begin building a life of freedom for herself and her child. When asked what the turning point was that allowed her to start taking her own advice, she says it was when she achieved ambivalence.

Now, she finds herself moving away from litigated court cases because she doesn’t want to make war anymore. She wants to make peace. In her words:

“Violence only breeds violence. Respectful communication breeds solutions. You can get a resolution without all the hate, the fighting and the misery. It takes less time, and it takes a far less egregious toll on the participants.”

Listen now to part 3 of this fascinating series:

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Missed the first two? Listen to Part 1 HERE and Part 2 HERE.

Don’t miss another one! Subscribe to Ron and Robert on Divorce on iTunes and download free podcasts weekly.

Helene Antel, Lawyer and Peacemaker – P.2

“All of a sudden, I changed from being the helplessly in love abused woman to the former district attorney. I looked at him and I said, ‘I’ve prosecuted guys like you. I know where this goes and it doesn’t get better. So this is the first and only time you are ever going to do this to me.’ Then I walked to the phone and I called 9-1-1.”

Helene Antel was a district attorney prosecutor and a ferocious advocate for her clients. But at home, she was someone else entirely. Listen to Part 2 of this electrifying story of a powerful, educated, skilled district attorney criminal prosecutor and how she survived and overcame her abusive marriage.

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Did you miss the first part? Check it out HERE.

Subscribe to Ron and Robert on Divorce on iTunes and download free podcasts every week.

Randy Morrow, Certified Real Estate Divorce Specialist, P. 6

In this sixth and final segment of Ron and Robert’s interview with Virginia’s leading Real Estate Divorce Specialist, the gentlemen discuss the difference between distributive bargaining (which is what you get when you go to court) and collaborative negotiation, which is what happens in a Collaborative Divorce. We like to tell the story of the orange:

Two young siblings are fighting over an orange. Their father walks in on them, takes the orange away, cuts it in half, and hands a half to each. Sister bursts into tears. “Why are you crying?” asks the perplexed father. “You and your brother both wanted the orange, there was only one orange, so I cut it in half. You should be happy.”

“I don’t want half!” sobs Sister. “I only wanted the peel. I need it for a cake I’m baking, but I have to have the whole peel.”

“Oh. Bobby?” He asks Brother, “Will you give your sister the whole peel if she’ll let you have the whole inside?”

Brother’s eyes light up. “Gee, sure! I didn’t want the crummy peel anyway.”

And that, dear friends, is the difference between distributive bargaining and collaborative negotiation.

The gents go into more detail about distributive bargaining, and then they talk about how to divide a property that was owned prior to marriage, what happens if you file bankruptcy during divorce, and whether or not you should keep your house if you file for bankruptcy.

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Missed the first five parts of this series? Here’s Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4, and Part 5.

Don’t miss another one! Subscribe to Ron and Robert on Divorce on iTunes and get free podcasts every week.

Trendsetter Justice Sheila Sonenshine on Family Law (Part 4 of 4)

The budget crisis in California is having a major impact on the courts. Last week I read an article in the L.A. Times about the dismissal of hundreds of criminal cases in Riverside County due to a lack of judges. Hundreds of criminal cases will not be tried because there aren’t enough judges. If that’s not an indication of the state of California’s court system, I don’t know what is. And if you think the problems are only in the criminal courts, you’re wrong. The family courts are just as bad. Thousands of clerks have been laid off, there aren’t enough judges, the courtrooms are over-crowded, the available judges don’t have time to hear all the cases, it’s a nightmare.

Something needs to change. In the fourth part of this interview with Judge Sheila Prell Sonenshine, Ron and Robert ask the retired Appellate and Superior Court Judge what measures we can take to solve the crisis in the courts.  She has some excellent suggestions for what you can do to help the system work better, and also, how you can facilitate healing after your divorce. Listen today and tell us what you think! (Podcast #56, Part 4 of 4)

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Missed Parts 1, 2, and 3? Click HERE for Part 1, HERE for Part 2, and HERE for Part 3.
Like what you heard? Subscribe to Ron and Robert on Divorce on iTunes.