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What About the Children?

When the topic of divorce surfaces, the first thought of many is, “What about the children?” Divorce is thought to traumatize all children involved, and with fair reason. A family splits, lives are altered, and people must adapt to their new circumstances, whatever they may be. Stephanie Dolgoff, author and divorcee, watched peers gasp when they heard she was divorcing her husband with whom she had children. She felt terrible whenever she would receive this reaction to the news, understandably, as if she had failed her children by not working harder to save the marriage. As time went on, however, she began to feel more comfortable with how the situation turned out, as her children became more at ease with the new living arrangements. She and her husband tried to handle the divorce as maturely as they could, in the hopes that things would turn out better for everybody. They did.

I’ve learned that I’m in many ways a better parent than when I was anxious and unhappy and I was distracted by the tension in my marriage. Having gotten my divorce legs, I’m present and peaceful and able to give to them. Aside from plain wanting to leave a situation that wasn’t bringing me joy, I wanted to show my girls what a happy woman who took care of herself and her emotional needs looked like. It will serve them well.

If you’re interested in her full article, you can read it here.