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Randy Morrow, Certified Real Estate Divorce Specialist, P. 6

In this sixth and final segment of Ron and Robert’s interview with Virginia’s leading Real Estate Divorce Specialist, the gentlemen discuss the difference between distributive bargaining (which is what you get when you go to court) and collaborative negotiation, which is what happens in a Collaborative Divorce. We like to tell the story of the orange:

Two young siblings are fighting over an orange. Their father walks in on them, takes the orange away, cuts it in half, and hands a half to each. Sister bursts into tears. “Why are you crying?” asks the perplexed father. “You and your brother both wanted the orange, there was only one orange, so I cut it in half. You should be happy.”

“I don’t want half!” sobs Sister. “I only wanted the peel. I need it for a cake I’m baking, but I have to have the whole peel.”

“Oh. Bobby?” He asks Brother, “Will you give your sister the whole peel if she’ll let you have the whole inside?”

Brother’s eyes light up. “Gee, sure! I didn’t want the crummy peel anyway.”

And that, dear friends, is the difference between distributive bargaining and collaborative negotiation.

The gents go into more detail about distributive bargaining, and then they talk about how to divide a property that was owned prior to marriage, what happens if you file bankruptcy during divorce, and whether or not you should keep your house if you file for bankruptcy.

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Missed the first five parts of this series? Here’s Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4, and Part 5.

Don’t miss another one! Subscribe to Ron and Robert on Divorce on iTunes and get free podcasts every week.

Honest, Blunt & Brilliant: Child Development

Ron Supancic asked Attorney Leslie Ellen Shear what steps parents can take to insure that their children are not harmed by the divorce and she answered,”They can take a deep breath to begin with.”

In part two of this four-part series, Attorney Shear describes beautifully the emotional process a couple goes through while divorcing, what their children go through, and what parents can do to help their children get through it.

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Missed Part 1? Here it is:

Honest, Blunt & Brilliant: “A” Stood for Alternative

Don’t miss another episode! Subscribe to Ron and Robert on Divorce on iTunes and tune in next week for Honest, Blunt & Brilliant: Custody Matters.

Learn more about Leslie Ellen Shear at CustodyMatters.com.

News from The Law Collaborative

News from The Law Collaborative

Ron and Robert are pleased to announce that they will be presenting a workshop at the 2011 Orange County Mediation Conference along with Kathryn Dager, President of Profitivity Inc. Be sure to check out our Events page for more information.

Also, this Saturday is Breakfast with Ron and Robert: The Second Saturday Divorce Workshop. This month Irene Smith, CDFA will discuss important financial issues, and Dr. James Walton will discuss the emotional issues that arise during divorce.  You may not need this workshop, but someone you know does. Register by Friday, March 11 and get a 50% discount on the registration fee. Register online at TheLawCollaborative.com/SecondSaturday.htm or call our offices at (888)852-9961.

The Marriage Eulogy

By Ty Supancic, Esquire

There is an old saying, “History is written by the winners.” In litigation, there are winners and losers. We believe that when parties in crisis choose mediation over litigation, everyone has the potential to come out a winner. If the winners write history, why can’t the winners in a dissolution write their own history?

Fifty years after a divorce, the children and grandchildren of the original divorcing couple will tell and believe a story about why their parents and grandparents divorced, what kind of people they were, and what aftermath or legacy they left behind. A couple going through a dissolution has the opportunity to write what they would like that story to be. By writing that story, and by keeping that story in mind, they can guide their actions and decisions in such a way that the story can become a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. Without having the story as a guideline, the parties are building without a plan, traveling without a map. They’ll build something and end up somewhere, but not with anything or anywhere they would have hoped.

The exercise of having individuals who are going through a dissolution of marriage write a “Joint Divorce Story” is not a new idea. Ron has been recommending it to his clients for years. Unfortunately, few ever take the time to engage in this useful exercise. Oftentimes they confuse the Joint Divorce Story with a mission statement or their short-term goals. The exercise might be more easily understood if it is renamed “The Marriage Eulogy”.

One of our paralegals, Maria, told me that when she was in high school, the nuns had them write their own eulogy as part of a “Death and Dying” class exercise. The idea was that by writing about all the great things they wanted to be remembered for when they died, one might be guided in making decisions during their lives. The Marriage Eulogy has the same goal.

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Very truly yours,
Ron Supancic, CFLS and Robert Borsky, Esq.
Partners at The Law Collaborative, LLP

Step By Step Guide to Divorce, Part III

The third installment of Ron and Robert’s Step By Step Guide to Divorce is available for your listening enjoyment! If you missed part one, click here. If you missed part two, click here. If you want to subscribe to Ron & Robert’s weekly podcasts, click here!

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Child-Safe Divorce

Ron and Robert talk about how to make divorce safe for children in this excellent and informative podcast. Subscribe to Ron and Robert on Divorce on iTunes by clicking here.

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