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Helene Antel, Lawyer and Peacemaker – P.4

If you have been following along for the last three weeks, you are familiar with Helene Antel’s story. If you haven’t been following along, you should start now. Her story is incredible. A former criminal prosecutor district attorney, a ferocious advocate for her clients, and a victim of domestic violence. Listen to Part 1 here, Part 2 here, and Part 3 here.

This week Helene talks about what she learned from her life experiences and how they changed her attitude about the practice of law. She discovered that being kind, patient, thoughtful, and charming, made her a better, more effective lawyer. In her words:

“The long drawn out expensive divorce litigation is the perpetration of the anger, the fight. It’s that neither party is willing to move on; the fighting is just a way to maintain a connection. If you declare peace, then the relationship is really over. Without knowing it, many people are not ready to truly separate themselves from their partner so they connect through a long drawn out battle. But you can choose not to fight anymore. You can choose to learn how to mediate your conflicts or manage your conflicts and keep the family together.”

Listen now to the fourth and final interview with Helene Antel, lawyer and peacemaker.

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Helene Antel, Lawyer and Peacemaker – P.3

In last week’s episode of Ron and Robert on Divorce, we heard the story of Helene Antel, a successful, powerful, ferocious district attorney who was the victim of domestic violence. It took her years, but she finally learned how to follow the very advice she routinely gave her clients. Once she learned how to do that, she was able to begin building a life of freedom for herself and her child. When asked what the turning point was that allowed her to start taking her own advice, she says it was when she achieved ambivalence.

Now, she finds herself moving away from litigated court cases because she doesn’t want to make war anymore. She wants to make peace. In her words:

“Violence only breeds violence. Respectful communication breeds solutions. You can get a resolution without all the hate, the fighting and the misery. It takes less time, and it takes a far less egregious toll on the participants.”

Listen now to part 3 of this fascinating series:

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Missed the first two? Listen to Part 1 HERE and Part 2 HERE.

Don’t miss another one! Subscribe to Ron and Robert on Divorce on iTunes and download free podcasts weekly.

Helen Antel, Lawyer and Peacemaker – P.1

Former criminal prosecutor Helene Antel grew up in a low-income housing project in the South Bronx. It was a rough and ugly neighborhood where people did not treat each other with kindness. She knew, even as a little girl, that so much hatred was not normal. She remembers being eight or nine and flying with fists of fury at a burly, tattooed gang member because he was picking on a little fat kid. She’s had the heart of an advocate since she was small.

Helene is a lawyer in Alaska who recently made the decision not to litigate any more. Over the course of her impressive career, and with a little help from her personal life, Helene has come to the conclusion that most conflicts are the product of a misunderstanding, or the lack of a good translator. And so she doesn’t litigate, she translates. Through translation, she reduces conflict while increasing peace and understanding.

Listen as Ron and Robert interview Helen Antel, lawyer and peacemaker.

Like what you heard? Subscribe to Ron and Robert on Divorce on iTunes and download free podcasts weekly.

Randy Morrow, Certified Real Estate Divorce Specialist, P. 6

In this sixth and final segment of Ron and Robert’s interview with Virginia’s leading Real Estate Divorce Specialist, the gentlemen discuss the difference between distributive bargaining (which is what you get when you go to court) and collaborative negotiation, which is what happens in a Collaborative Divorce. We like to tell the story of the orange:

Two young siblings are fighting over an orange. Their father walks in on them, takes the orange away, cuts it in half, and hands a half to each. Sister bursts into tears. “Why are you crying?” asks the perplexed father. “You and your brother both wanted the orange, there was only one orange, so I cut it in half. You should be happy.”

“I don’t want half!” sobs Sister. “I only wanted the peel. I need it for a cake I’m baking, but I have to have the whole peel.”

“Oh. Bobby?” He asks Brother, “Will you give your sister the whole peel if she’ll let you have the whole inside?”

Brother’s eyes light up. “Gee, sure! I didn’t want the crummy peel anyway.”

And that, dear friends, is the difference between distributive bargaining and collaborative negotiation.

The gents go into more detail about distributive bargaining, and then they talk about how to divide a property that was owned prior to marriage, what happens if you file bankruptcy during divorce, and whether or not you should keep your house if you file for bankruptcy.

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Missed the first five parts of this series? Here’s Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4, and Part 5.

Don’t miss another one! Subscribe to Ron and Robert on Divorce on iTunes and get free podcasts every week.

Randy Morrow, Certified Real Estate Divorce Specialist, P. 5

Maybe you’ve been following along (if you haven’t, start playing catch-up now!) but today’s episode of Ron and Robert on Divorce is crucial. Certified Real Estate Divorce Specialist Randy Morrow delves into the topic of short sales: What is a short sale, do you qualify for one, and what will it do to your credit score? In Randy’s words, “This is mandatory to understand.”

Listen to this new podcast from Ron and Robert on Divorce – you’ll be glad you did.

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Missed the first four parts of this series? Find them hereherehere, and here.

Don’t miss another one! Subscribe to Ron and Robert on Divorce on iTunes and get free podcasts every week.

$25 Divorce Workshop at The Law Collaborative

After much consideration, we have decided to try a new approach to the Second Saturday Divorce Workshop. We’re still offering tools, strategies, and information from three top divorce professionals, but the program is more compact and more affordable.

Join us Saturday, October 8, 2011 from 10:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. at our office in Woodland Hills for a comprehensive workshop about the divorce process. Robert Borsky, Esquire, of The Law Collaborative will speak about the legal divorce, Pete Collins, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, will discuss important financial and tax issues that most people don’t know about, and James E. Walton, PhD will cover emotional agendas, how to help the kids, and how to deal with your ex. Breakfast is included.

The new rate for our two-hour Second Saturday Divorce Workshop is $25 in advance, $35 at the door. For more information or to register online now please visit www.thelawcollaborative.com/secondsaturday.htm or call us toll free at (888) 852-9961.

Randy Morrow, Certified Real Estate Divorce Specialist, P. 4

Randy Morrow is a Certified Real Estate Divorce Specialist, not a lawyer. He does not give legal advice, but he does offer compelling personal advice: Either get divorced or get married, but do not keep any strings. No financial strings, no real estate strings. Cut them all. Listen to part 4 of this 6-part series to find out exactly what he means when he says “Cut them all.”

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Missed the first three parts of this series? Find them herehere, and here.

Don’t miss another one! Subscribe to Ron and Robert on Divorce on iTunes and get free podcasts every week.

Randy Morrow, Certified Real Estate Divorce Specialist, P. 3

When Randy Morrow, Certified Real Estate Divorce Specialist, takes on new clients who are parents going through divorce, he has them sign an agreement stating that they will not argue in front of their children. If they refuse to sign, he will not work with them. This is just one of the reasons why Randy is a gem in the divorce and real estate community.

Randy understands the pain and difficulty of divorce better than most real estate agents because he’s been through three divorces himself. His first was at the age of nine, when his parents divorced. His second and third were as an adult going through his own divorce. From his website:

Randy is trained in the legal and tax aspects of the divorce process as it relates to real estate. His specialty is learning about obscure divorce-related legal rulings, regulations, and tax implications. This enables him to help his divorcing clients take advantage of tax laws that are specific to selling a house during a divorce.

“Divorcing couples are going through one of the most stressful times of their lives and they need all the help they can get. I know,” says Randy “I have been through these times myself. I know from firsthand experience what my clients are feeling and why.”

Listen to the third part in this six-part series and discover the most important factors to consider when making the decision to sell or keep the family residence.

Missed the first two parts of this series? Find them here and here.

Don’t miss another one! Subscribe to Ron and Robert on Divorce on iTunes and get free podcasts every week.

Breakfast with Robert & Wine Tasting with Irene

BREAKFAST WITH ROBERT:

Don’t miss our Second Saturday Divorce Workshop this Saturday, August 13th, featuring Attorney Robert Borsky, James E. Walton, Ph.D., and Pete Collins, CFP. We will be discussing child custody, how to help your kids get through the divorce, how to protect yourself in court, child and spousal support guidelines, the complicated financial issues that arise during divorce, and the divorce process and fees. Register by calling us toll-free at (888) 852-9961, or save 50% off the registration fee by clicking here.

WINE TASTING WITH IRENE:

photo by Erik Anestad via PhotoRee


Wine Tasting and Real Estate is less than a week away! Be sure to be there on August 16th at 6:30 p.m., at our Woodland Hills office. Irene Smith, CDFA, will be hosting A Tale of Two Markets, accompanied by Dvir Levy, Regional Vice President of Wells Real Estate Funds, with a wine tasting immediately following. This seminar is free, but space is limited. Today is the last day to RSVP. Save your spot on the guest list now by calling (818)884-4888 toll-free, or click here to RSVP online.

Upcoming Events

We still have two fantastic events this summer. On August 13th, we have a Second Saturday Divorce Workshop featuring Attorney Robert Borsky,  James Walton, Ph.D., and Pete Collins, CFP, covering child custody, spousal and child support guidelines, how to protect oneself in court, and the divorce process and fees.  Our much anticipated Wine Tasting and Real Estate event on August 16th will be hosted by Irene Smith, CDFA, with guest speaker Dvir Levy, Regional Vice President of Wells Real Estate Funds.

For the Second Saturday Workshop, register online here and get 50% off the registration fee, or call us toll free at (888) 852-9961.

For Wine Tasting and Real Estate, click here to RSVP online, or call us toll free at (818)884-4888.