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In Plain English

Two children are in the kitchen fighting over an orange.  Their father walks in, sees what’s going on and decides to put an end to it.  He grabs the orange from their hands, puts it on the chopping block, cuts it in half and gives half to his son and half to his daughter.

Both children burst into tears.  Astonished, the father turns to his son and says, “Johnny, why are you crying?”
“I wanted the whole orange!”  Johnny says, sobbing.
“You can’t have the whole orange, there’s only one orange.  You have to share it with your sister.  Stop crying.”  Then he turns to his daughter and says, “Suzy, why are you crying?”
Suzy sniffles and says, “Daddy, I didn’t want the orange at all.”
“What? What are you talking about?”
“I only wanted the peel.  I need it for an icing recipe for a cake I just baked.  But I have to have the whole peel.”
The father scratches his beard, thoughtfully.  “You only wanted the outside of the orange?”
Suzy nods her head sadly, a fat tear dripping from her chin.  “Yes.”
“Can Johnny have the inside of the orange?”
Her eyes widen and she bounces on her toes.  “Yes!”
“Johnny? Will you give your sister the orange peel if she lets you have the inside of the orange?”
Little Johnny’s face brightens and he clasps his hands together.  “Yes! Of course! I didn’t even want the crummy old peel!”

***

The truth about litigated divorce is that the judge doesn’t have the time, the inclination or the imagination to find out what your interests are.  When you get a traditional, litigated divorce, you get distributive bargaining.  The judge is following the law.  He’s lead by the rules and the statutes.

With Collaborative Divorce, as well as with mediation or The Kitchen Table Divorce, there is creativity and imagination.  Your wants, your needs, and your fears are heard, acknowledged, and understood.  Your spouse’s wants and needs and fears are heard, acknowledged and understood.  It’s impossible to be angry or hateful towards someone you understand.

You went into your marriage with love.  If you’re getting a divorce, you have the opportunity to reorganize your life with love.  It’s your choice.

New Opportunity

Everyone knows of Oscar Schindler and his famous list, owing to the movie of the same name by Steven Spielberg. Walter Schindler, a managing partner of Sail Venture Partners is little known, but his work is as exciting and contemporary.   He is a poet, author, an venture capitalist who has committed his life and career to preserving the earth.

Walter Schindler’s vision, his dream, is to pursue the largest global markets in energy, water, agriculture and green innovation.   They seek to control and/or influence strategic outcomes with customers, joint venture partners and anyone else who is interested in cleaning Mother Earth through more efficient sources of energy, preserving and recycling water, and encouraging the development of green innovation world wide.

What on earth has this to do with divorce?   Nothing and everything.   You’ve heard it said that people marry for better or for worse?  I’ve found that people divorce for better or for worse.   Divorce is a life-shattering trauma of the first order magnitude.  But with death comes new life, and opportunity.   I have had the pleasure of knowing countless lives that have been transformed for the better because of divorce; my own included.  In my case it was the divorce of my parents.  It was the singular most defining event in my life.   It caused me to pursue a career devoted to helping families in crisis find new alternatives and options.

I’m encouraging people who find their lives shattered and in shambles to look for new opportunities.   What more pressing or wonderful career objective could there be than partnering with people like Walter Schindler, Sail Venture Partners, and other businesses devoted to producing clean energy, preserving and protecting our water resources and adding to the efficient toxic free agricultural economy?   I had the pleasure and the privilege of meeting Walter at a recent American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers meeting and he introduced a whole new perspective on opportunity to people who are looking for options after crisis.  You can find out more about Walter and his amazing company by visiting their website at www.sailvc.com.

By Ronald M. Supancic, CFLS