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No Romance?

A British news website did a short piece on Gwyneth Paltrow admitting to marriage struggles. The headline blared, Paltrow Admits to Marriage Struggles, as if she’d announced to the press that her marriage was doomed.  In actuality it was a simple blurb noting that even movie stars have to put effort into marriage.

Marriage isn’t a love affair. Love affairs are all about immediate personal satisfaction, the chase, the thrill, the passion. Marriage is a process. It’s a journey that requires courage and vulnerability, patience and empathy, strength and commitment.

Maybe you feel like you and your spouse have grown apart. Maybe you’ve been living more like roommates than lovers for too long to admit. Maybe your spouse doesn’t understand you or you don’t understand your spouse. Divorce doesn’t have to be the only choice left. Marriage counseling can do wonders. Reestablishing a weekly date night, even if it’s an hour at a free museum, can help remind you why you first became friends, lovers, life partners.

Some people marry the right person the first time. Other people aren’t so lucky. How do you know if you married the right partner for life? Ask yourself the following questions.  Your answers may surprise you.

  • Which qualities attracted you to your spouse in the first place? Does your spouse still have the character qualities you found so attractive when you first met?
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  • Is your spouse most often honest, trustworthy, faithful, supportive and kind?
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  • Is your spouse willing to change and grow to meet the dynamics of your relationship?
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  • Will divorce have a harmful effect on you or your family? Will staying married have a more harmful effect?
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  • How will the divorce affect your family, especially your children? How will staying married affect your family, especially your children?  Does that matter to you?  How much?
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  • Do you still love each other?