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How much support can I get?

Part Two of the discussion launched in last month’s newsletter, the calculation of parental Child Custody time, begins with an important first step: determine the average weekly time that your child spends in your care. Use the information from last month to calculate the specific hours. There are 168 hours in each week, 7 days at 24 hours each. There are 52 weeks in each year. 168 x 52 = 8736. Next, add holidays, and those Mondays or Fridays that extend your weeks or weekends (such as Memorial Day). Then calculate vacation time, birthdays, and special days like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day.  Don’t forget to account for school closure days and other such events. Total these figures and you should have an accurate estimation of your time/custody percentage. Be certain of your numbers, since miscalculation may cost you additional negotiation, litigation and/or child support payments. If in doubt, review the calculations with your attorney or the paralegal in charge of your case.

Summer is officially here, and with it our next Second Saturday Divorce Workshop, which will take place on July 10th at our Woodland Hills Office. California Certified Family Law Specialist, Ronald Supancic, of The Law Collaborative, will address the legal issues in divorce. Irene Smith, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, will discuss the financial issues associated with divorce. Christine Campisi, Court Mediator, will speak regarding childrens issues in divorce situations. This workshop is beneficial to anyone contemplating divorce, or curious about their options. Pre-registration is $45, or $50 at the door. Breakfast will be served. Please call our office at (888) 852-9961, for registration and additional information, or email IG@TheLawCollaborative.com.

Visit Ron and Robert on Divorce on iTunes for additional information.

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And please, if you have any questions, give us a call. We are here to serve you. (888) TLC (852) – 9961

Difficult Conversations

Photo by Dopey LaRue on Flickr

Article from Peace Talks Mediation Services May Newsletter

Difficult Conversations

Sooner or later, you’ll need to have a difficult conversation. Whether it’s “I turned my back for a minute and now we’re in the emergency room” or “this relationship isn’t working for me anymore” or even “I feel like I can’t talk to you because all you do is shut me down,” it’s going to happen.

Here are some tips for making your next difficult conversation as smooth as possible.

1. Plan ahead: What is your purpose for having the conversation? What do you hope to accomplish? What would be an ideal outcome? How can you word your opening sentences so that they are supportive, and not critical or condescending? Write out your goals on a piece of paper if you’ll need a prompt.

2. Don’t assume: What assumptions are you making about the other person’s intentions? Although you may feel intimidated, ignored, disrespected, or worse, are you sure they meant it that way? It’s easy to misinterpret what someone says, particularly when it’s via e-mail or voice mail.

3. Watch for triggers: Is the situation pushing your buttons? If you step back for a moment, are you more emotional than the situation warrants? Are you having a reaction that has more to do with your personal history than with the actual situation? You may still need to have the conversation, but you’ll go into it acknowledging that some of the heightened emotional state has to do with you.

4. Check your attitude: Your attitude influences the outcome. If you think the conversation will go poorly, it probably will. If you believe that the conversation, even though it’s difficult, will result in some good, then it probably will. Adjust your attitude for maximum effectiveness.

5. Put yourself in their place: Think about the other person. What might they be thinking about this situation? Are they even aware of the problem? If so, how do you think they perceive it? What will be their main concerns? What solution do you think they would suggest? Use some empathy to see the topic from a different perspective.

6. Look for commonalities: Is the situation you’re addressing something that may also be troubling the other person? Are there any common concerns? Could there be? Sometimes a difficult problem has a wider impact than just you, even though no one else may have brought it up yet because they dread having this difficult conversation.

7. Own your part: How have you contributed to the problem? It’s easy to figure out how the other person contributed. But what was your role in what happened? Are you ready to take responsibility for your part, even if you feel the other person is mostly to blame?

© 2010 Diana Mercer and Katie Jane Wennechuk. Excerpted from Making Divorce Work: 8 Essential Keys for Resolving Conflict and Rebuilding Your Life (Perigee, December 2010). Contact: diana1159@aol.com

How much support am I entitled to?


Welcome to our June Newsletter!  This month we will begin the first of a two part discussion about the California Child Support Custody Time (Percentage) Calculation Method, which is found in Family Code Section 4055.

As a first step, you must determine the amount of time you spend in charge of your child per week. The calculation is complex, and failure to accurately estimate that time could significantly impact the amount paid or received for Child Support. In order to save legal fees and costs, The Law Collaborative wants to share a tool that will assist with the precise calculation of your percentage of time.  Click here to use the California Child Support Calculator.

The Court is interested in hours spent, not days. In other words, which parent will be called to assist with the child in the event of illness or distress at school? On a normal day, it is the parent scheduled to receive the child after school. If you are not the scheduled parent, then the time belongs to the other parent. The calculation commences at pick-up, and ends at drop-off, either at school or to the other parent.

This month we are excited to host our second Second Saturday Divorce Workshop on Saturday, June 12th at our Woodland Hills Office. Robert Borsky, attorney and partner at The Law Collaborative will be addressing the legal issues in divorce while Irene Smith will be discussing the financial issues associated with divorce.  Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Rosalinda O’Neill will speak about the emotional issues that come up in divorce situations. This workshop will be beneficial to anyone contemplating divorce or in the middle of a divorce. The workshop is $45 if you pre-register and $50 at the door. Please call our office at (888)852-9961 for more information.  We are here to serve you.

Best,

Ron Supancic and Robert Borsky

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What’s new at The Law Collaborative

Dear Friends of the Law Collaborative,

This April we celebrate an anniversary. Although Ron and Robert have been practicing family law for a sum total of fifty years or more, this April we celebrate the First Anniversary of The Law Collaborative, LLP, formed by Ron and Robert with the stated aim of ‘Bringing Peace to the Legal Process.’

With this in mind, we offer our readers one simple suggestion for establishing peace in our daily lives.

Thankfulness.

Even in tough times, there is plenty for which to be thankful. If we establish a habit of noting the small things that mark us as fortunate, we cultivate Thankfulness and Appreciation. Establishing these qualities in our lives benefits our health, our relationships, and our general well-being. They also have a way of overflowing into the lives of others. Realize that there is no actual risk attached to exercising Thankfulness and Appreciation, and that such attitudes come with much potential benefit. Thankfulness and Appreciation may be experienced on a daily basis if we apply ourselves to forming the habit.

COLLABORATIVE LAW – The attorney who wishes to employ collaborative law in his practice must have a thorough knowledge of negotiation skills, and understand the underlying theories and strategies of negotiation. Minimum standards for collaborative family law practice are continually expanding, as the work continues to attract more followers throughout the country. The State Bar provides education on an annual basis, making available new tools, technology, and information generated by the professionals engaged in the practice. This month, on Saturday, April 10th, Ron will be the closing speaker at the “Helping Families” conference at Pepperdine Law School in beautiful Malibu. Any professional interested in learning more about collaborative practice would do well to attend. For more information, check www.CDR4-10-10event.com

We would like to share a testimonial, and our new blog –

www.RonandRobertonDivorce.com

Testimonial:

The Law Collaborative is a team of divorce lawyers and paralegals who advocate for the family. I have yet to come across another group of lawyers who take as much care in preserving family values, keeping costs down and protecting children, as the good people at The Law Collaborative. TLC focuses on keeping families together, even in the middle of a crisis. This concept has so enraptured me that I’ve been inspired to write “A Serious Girl,” a blog that focuses on marriage and family. The Law Collaborative opened my eyes to the many options we have for our marriages, our children, and our lives.

Visit Ron and Robert on Divorce on ITunes for additional information. Please call us if you have any questions. We are here to serve you.

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Add us on www.Facebook.com/TheLawCollaborative

Best,
Ron Supancic and Robert Borsky

February Newsletter

Dear Friends of the Law Collaborative,

We wish you the best in all of your relationships. In order to facilitate our wish for you, this month we have included a “tool” to help with communication in your relationships, professional and personal.

As February is often referred to as the month of love, we would like to share an article written by Dr. Mark S. Goulston, Author of “Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.”

The single best predictor of how children do post-divorce is the amount of conflict between the parents. This is true whether you’re in an intact (living together) family, a separated family, or a divorced family.

You have a unique opportunity to influence the outcome, because it takes two people to fight. You can’t fight alone. And while choosing not to engage in an argument or bad behavior is difficult, it is possible. It may take both practice and commitment on your part to make it happen.

Parents in frequent contact who are supportive of each other have well adjusted children. That’s pretty compelling, isn’t it?

10 Strategies for Preventing and Dealing With Conflict:

1. It takes two to argue. Simply refuse to participate.

2. A certain amount of tension is to be expected when you’re getting divorced. Expect difficult discussions. They don’t have to result in a fight.

3. Try to understand your spouse’s viewpoint. Once you understand what he or she wants, you can begin to see how you might be able to help resolve the situation.

4. Evaluate your own goals. Are you entrenched in a position that may have another solution? If you want your children on Wednesday night for dinner, will Thursday do? If your goal is financial security, is one particular asset the key, or could another be substituted?

5. Use “I” statements. Begin every sentence with “I”, rather than “you”. Example: “I feel upset when I hear you say that I’m a bad father because I have to work so many hours,” instead of “You are always accusing me of being a bad father.”

6. After you explain how you feel, listen to your spouse’s side of the story. Repeat what you heard, to make sure for yourself (and to convey to your spouse) that you understand how he or she views the situation.

7. Plan a time to have a discussion with your spouse about a specific issue that bothers you. Limit the discussion.

8. Choose your timing. The same comment may evoke a different response if, 1) neither of you is tired, 2) neither of you is already angry, and, 3) the children or others are not in earshot.

9. Be prepared to say “I’m sorry” sometimes. “I was wrong” can go a long way.

10. Above all, let annoyances go and choose your battles wisely. They are too important to squander. Research points to the benefits of shared parenting, defined as shared decision making, as well as shared time between two homes. Children need emotional sustenance and comfort from both parents to get their needs met. Your co-parenting responsibilities get easier over time as your children grow and their day-to-day caretaking needs lessen. One way to ensure your adult children have a good relationship with you and your former spouse is to set you own needs aside from time to time and take the high road whenever possible. Remember forgiveness is the permission you give yourself to get over an offense & move into health, healing & a happy life. It is not approval. It is not acceptance. It is a gift to you from you. Forgive.

Visit Ron and Robert on Divorce on iTunes for additional information. Please call us if you have any questions. We are here to serve you.

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Add us on www.Facebook.com/TheLawCollaborative

Ron Supancic and Robert Borsky

* A free phone consultation will provide you with general legal information. Legal information is not the same as legal advice – the application of law to an individual’s specific circumstances. Although we go to great lengths to make sure our information is accurate and useful, for specific advice on your situation, I will be pleased to provide legal advice after you accept and sign my retainer agreement.

For more information, please visit our website at: www.ronslaw.com or click here: www.divorcemagazine.com/CA/pro/supancic.shtml

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