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Knowledge = Everything

If you were filing for a divorce thirty years ago, you didn’t have a whole lot of options. Certain laws favored mom, certain laws favored dad. You had to prove there was reasonable cause for the divorce and if the judge thought your reason wasn’t good enough, you didn’t get your divorce. Things worked a certain way and there wasn’t much you could do about it.

Today, we have lots of options. We can mediate or arbitrate, we can collaborate or litigate, we can Rent a Judge and get divorced at the Four Seasons or sit at our kitchen table and work it out over coffee and cookies. Unfortunately, most people have no idea there are so many options. Our legal system has been designed for battle, so we hire lawyers slick as knives and we cut each other until we are each bloodied and broken. But what is the point of that? How does that help? How do you heal from a wound cut so deep?

The fact is this: Divorce does not have to leave you bloodied and broken. You can have a divorce where you emerge on the other side with your eyes opened wide to the possibilities of new life. Where you come out standing with your shoulders back and your chin up. It’s up to you. You get to choose which divorce you have; the one with all the blood and gore, or the one where you come out standing straight and strong.

Read more…

Knowledge is Everything

If you were filing for a divorce thirty years ago, you didn’t have a whole lot of options. Certain laws favored mom, certain laws favored dad. You had to prove there was reasonable cause for the divorce and if the judge thought your reason wasn’t good enough, you didn’t get your divorce. Things worked a certain way and there wasn’t much you could do about it.

Today, we have lots of options. We can mediate or arbitrate, we can collaborate or litigate, we can rent a judge and get divorced at the four seasons or sit at our kitchen table and work it out over coffee and donuts. Unfortunately, most people have no idea there are so many options. Our legal system has been designed for battle, so we hire lawyers slick as knives and we cut each other until we are each bloodied and broken. But what is the point of that? How does that help? How do you heal from a wound cut so deep?

The fact is this: Divorce does not have to leave you bloodied and broken. You can have a divorce where you emerge on the other side with your eyes opened wide to the possibilities of new life. Where you come out standing with your shoulders back and your chin up. It’s up to you. You get to choose which divorce you have; the one with all the blood and gore, or the one where you come out standing straight and strong.

Read more…

Creating a Dialogue

Over the years we’ve had many many people tell us that divorce is worse than death.  And in some ways it is a death.  It’s the death of an identity.

When people come together in a marriage, they create a third entity.  He’s not who he was anymore, he now becomes what she adds to him.  She’s no longer who she was, separate and apart from him, she becomes who she is with him.  The two of them create this third relationship, and the success of the marriage, the longevity of the marriage, the durability of the marriage is a direct function of the amount of time that people put into cultivating, creating, adding to and enlarging that third entity.  When that entity dies, when it is destroyed, when it is broken through a breach of trust or a horrible misadventure, it’s devastating.  It’s devastating to the person who has put their everything into the relationship and it’s devastating to the children.

There is a legal divorce and there is an emotional divorce. The key is to understand that what you’re going through is different than what the legal process is.  But you have to understand the legal process to be able to get through it.  The purpose of this blog, and of the Ron and Robert on Divorce Podcast, is to provide tools, education and information to people who are going through the crisis of a divorce.

How do you know if you need a lawyer?  What are the proper forms to file to get a divorce started?  Can you do it yourself?  How much does it cost?  What are the rules for fair fighting?  What if your spouse is hiding money?  What about the kids?  What is collaborative law?  Do you have to go to court?  We’ve answered all these questions on our blog and in our podcasts, and now we want to start a dialogue with you – what do you want to know?  What are your questions?  Send us an email and we will answer your questions on our radio show or on our blog.  We won’t use your name, your identity will be protected, but it’s important to know that there are remedies, there are solutions, there are steps you can take, precise protocols you can follow to make your entire divorce easier.  You are not at the mercy of the California Divorce Industry.  You can take this opportunity to empower yourself.  Write to:

Ron@TheLawCollaborative.com
Robert@TheLawCollaborative.com

Please keep in mind that we cannot give legal advice without a signed Retainer Agreement, but it is our mission to provide information, education, knowledge and support.  Thank you for allowing us to be of service.

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