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Why Mediate?

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What’s in it for me? That is the question often asked when mediation is suggested.

Ideally, mediation of a divorce case will save time, money, and upset. Mediation can be a Win-Win proposition but it requires two people who really want it to work.

In mediation the goal is to help the parties design a settlement agreement that will realistically fulfill their needs, which requires that the parties clearly and specifically identify their ideal solution to the dispute while taking the other party’s desired outcome into consideration. This requires the three C’s: cooperation, collaboration, and compromise. To compromise – in other words, to find the middle ground and occupy it. This is the place from which people are able to negotiate their way through dispute to agreement.

Before a party to conflict can contemplate compromise, they have to truly listen to the other party, hear what they have to say, learn why they feel the way they do so there can be understanding, and then try to view the dispute from the other person’s position. This makes compromise possible where it was not previously considered. And in turn, allows for the transformation from dispute to resolution.

To learn more about the mediation process, we would like to extend an invitation to our next Second Saturday Divorce Workshop, which will take place at 10:00 a.m. on May 13 at our Woodland Hills Office. Attorney Ty Supancic of The Law Collaborative will address the legal issues in divorce and discuss the mediation process. This workshop is beneficial to anyone contemplating divorce, going through divorce, or curious about their options. This workshop is free, but space is limited, so please call our office at (818) 348-6700 to RSVP. Thank you for the opportunity to be of service.

Best wishes,

Ronald M. Supancic, CFLS

The Law Collaborative, APC

5955 De Soto Avenue, Suite 125

Woodland Hills, CA 91367

T: (818)348-6700

F: (818)348-0961

E: info@thelawcollaborative.com

www.thelawcollaborative.com

What Everyone Who Has or Wants a Family Needs to Know

All personal relationships, from casual dating all the way through marriage and the relationships we have with our children, are governed by the law. Unless you’re a hermit, at some point the law will intersect with your personal relationships. Join us on Tuesday, November 15 at 6:30 p.m. for a discussion designed to cover some areas which will be of concern to everybody attending, even those with perfect marriages and perfect children.

Attorney Ty Supancic will discuss how California’s 2000 page prenuptial agreement (aka the California Family Code) can be overcome with some advance planning by dating couples, designed to strengthen relationships before marriage so that the resulting marriage has a better chance of enduring.

Ty will present and discuss communication tools developed by mental health professionals to enhance relationships before, during, and after marriage. Powerful tools we can bring to bear in all of our relationships.

Even in the best marriage, the law is ever present. Ty will discuss and explain responsibilities couples have to each other, parents have to children, and parents have to the world. This includes child labor law, dealing with troubled children, and planning for your children’s retirement.

If you know someone whose marriage has fallen on hard times, Ty will discuss tools that can help save a marriage, or if it can’t be saved, may help the parties have the least destructive family reorganization possible with the fewest casualties and at the lowest cost.

Not only is divorce second only in stress to the death of a loved one, but it often results in financial disaster. It doesn’t have to be that way. Ty will discuss the seven options couples have if they decide their marriage cannot be saved. The options include creative solutions not considered by any court, which can minimize impact to children and the couple’s finances.

Ty will also discuss the process of dissolution in California. What procedures are required, what pitfalls and dangers might be encountered and how to avert them, and what measures can be taken to minimize the long-term impact. He’ll also discuss relationships after a final divorce decree.

The Law Collaborative takes a holistic view of family law: We realize that divorce isn’t the end. Relationships continue in one form or another, especially if there are children. Without this insight and without proper acknowledgment of this truth and careful planning, a divorce can destroy lives in the long term — solving nothing but creating many new problems.

Ty Supancic is an attorney with a perfect marriage and a perfect child, but that wasn’t always the case. Ty also has a decent sense of humor and will try to utilize it during this discussion. Questions are welcome, refreshments and handouts will be provided.

This seminar is open to the public. Licensed attorneys who attend will earn 1 MCLE Credit. The seminar is on Tuesday, November 15, 2011 from 6:30 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. at our office in Woodland Hills. For more information or to register for this seminar today, please visit www.thelawcollaborative.com/events.htm


From Dating Through Divorce

Save the Date for From Dating Through Divorce, an interactive presentation by attorney Ty Supancic of The Law Collaborative. Anyone contemplating marriage, children, or divorce, and those seeking a general overview of how the law relates to families, are invited to attend. Licensed attorneys who attend will earn 1 MCLE Credit. For more information or to register today, please call us toll free at (888) 852-9961 or visit www.thelawcollaborative.com/events.htm.

Strategies for Divorce

The Law Collaborative has partnered with the State Bar of California to provide licensed attorneys with MCLE Credits. Our October 18 seminar, Tips, Tricks & Strategies for Divorce offers attorneys 1 MCLE for $25. If you’re an attorney interested in adding family law to your menu of services, this 90 minute seminar will teach you important tips, tricks, and strategies for moving cases forward, how to better protect a client’s assets during divorce, why fighting for a client to keep the family residence may hurt them in the long run, and common divorce-related tax issues  most family law attorneys don’t appreciate or understand.

This seminar is also ideal for those with no legal background who are in the process of divorce. Do you feel like your case is stuck? Is negotiating with your ex impossible? Are you unsure of where your case is headed or how to take the next step? Pourya Keshavarzi, Esquire, and Irene Smith, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, join forces to provide you with important information that will help you protect yourself in court, tricks for effective negotiation, and strategies for moving your case forward.

Join us at our office in Woodland Hills on Tuesday, October 18, 2011 from 6:30 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. for Tips, Tricks & Strategies for Divorce. Refreshments will be served. Register online today for $25 or call us toll free at (888) 852-9961.

To see some of the other upcoming events we have planned, visit www.thelawcollaborative.com/events.htm.

Getting Anger Under Control

Dr. Walton will be presenting at this month’s Second Saturday Divorce Workshop on Saturday, October 8, from 10 a.m. to 12 p.m. at our office in Woodland Hills. He’ll discuss combating emotional agendas, tips for better communication with your ex, how to help your kids through the divorce, and how to get through it yourself. Register now for $25 at www.thelawcollaborative.com/secondsaturday.htm or call us toll free at (888) 852-9961.

Getting Anger Under Control Is Easier Than You Might Think
By James E. Walton, Ph.D.

The first thing to understand about anger is that you, and only you, are responsible for your thoughts, feelings and actions. That includes anger and angry behavior. You are responsible for becoming angry and you are responsible for letting it go. No one can “make” you angry. Only you make yourself angry. Anger is a feeling. When we are able to put anger into words, we can clearly communicate our strong feelings to another.

Angry behavior is not a clear form of communication, rather, it is a form of acting out when we yell, scream, throw things or hurl insults. This behavior doesn’t express anger. It simply demonstrates our feelings of helplessness and our desire to force another to bend to our will through intimidation.

Uncontrolled angry behavior interferes with talking and listening. It is actually a very ineffective way of expressing anger. Instead of the receiver hearing clarifying words, they are left to interpret the behaviors, and often their interpretations are not what the sender was trying to express.

To better get anger under control, ask yourself if the angering situation is going to really matter 20 years from now. Then, ask yourself if you would rather be right or happy. Sometimes we prefer to be right, but usually we prefer to be happy. These are two techniques for reducing feelings of anger.

Never attempt to settle an argument when you are angry. Walk away, sit down and cool off. Deal with the situation later when you are rational. Feel with your heart, but act from your head.

Dr. James E. Walton, Ph.D. is a licensed Marriage & Family Therapist with a private practice in Sherman Oaks. Log onto his website at LAtherapist.com or call (818) 753-4865.

$25 Divorce Workshop at The Law Collaborative

After much consideration, we have decided to try a new approach to the Second Saturday Divorce Workshop. We’re still offering tools, strategies, and information from three top divorce professionals, but the program is more compact and more affordable.

Join us Saturday, October 8, 2011 from 10:00 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. at our office in Woodland Hills for a comprehensive workshop about the divorce process. Robert Borsky, Esquire, of The Law Collaborative will speak about the legal divorce, Pete Collins, Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, will discuss important financial and tax issues that most people don’t know about, and James E. Walton, PhD will cover emotional agendas, how to help the kids, and how to deal with your ex. Breakfast is included.

The new rate for our two-hour Second Saturday Divorce Workshop is $25 in advance, $35 at the door. For more information or to register online now please visit www.thelawcollaborative.com/secondsaturday.htm or call us toll free at (888) 852-9961.

Randy Morrow, Certified Real Estate Divorce Specialist, P. 4

Randy Morrow is a Certified Real Estate Divorce Specialist, not a lawyer. He does not give legal advice, but he does offer compelling personal advice: Either get divorced or get married, but do not keep any strings. No financial strings, no real estate strings. Cut them all. Listen to part 4 of this 6-part series to find out exactly what he means when he says “Cut them all.”

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Missed the first three parts of this series? Find them herehere, and here.

Don’t miss another one! Subscribe to Ron and Robert on Divorce on iTunes and get free podcasts every week.

Prepare Yourself

Prepare Yourself for Divorce by Knowing Your Budget and Your Home’s Equity
By Randy Morrow, Certified Real Estate Divorce Specialist

You have filed for divorce and told your attorney “I want everything I can get from her/him.” Really? Do you think it is that easy?

What happens to you if ‘everything’ isn’t enough? How are you going to live? Do you have a job that pays enough to support you and/or the kids? Do you even have a job? Have you given any of this the least bit of thought? Tough questions, but questions you must answer.

My suggestion:  Sit down and start making a list of absolutes. Absolutes are monthly expenses absolutely necessary to survive, with no frills. I suggest having a trusted friend or professional help you make this list. (Remember, you probably aren’t thinking as clearly as you would like to right now.)

Read more…

A Child of Divorce

When I was nine years old, my mother took me by my shoulders in my grandparents kitchen in Seattle and said: “Ronny, we are not going back to Long Beach. I am divorcing your father. You are going to be my little man.”

My world fell apart. Suddenly, I felt the whole burden of the responsibilities and problems of our family shift to my shoulders. That was not what my mother intended, but that was how I felt. In response to the anxiety, I regressed and started wetting the bed, for which I was punished. I eventually got past that. I also started biting my nails, an anxiety habit I still struggle to overcome sixty years later. My mother’s mistake was honest and well-intentioned. She wanted to enroll me in the change, and make me feel important, but she had no way to assess the effect her statement could and would have on me. It changed my life forever.

How can parents do better? What, specifically, can we do to act responsibly as parents to guide our children through the aftermath of divorce? On Saturday, September 10, I am presenting the Second Saturday Divorce Workshop at The Law Collaborative office in Woodland Hills. Among the various topics covered, you will hear from a licensed mental health professional discussing what we, as parents, can do to help our children cope with divorce in a healthy and productive manner. Don’t have kids? We’ll also be teaching communication skills necessary for dealing with a difficult Ex. We’ll cover the divorce process from beginning to end, how to protect yourself in court, the Seven Options for Divorce, and what to do if you feel your case isn’t going anywhere. Certified Divorce Financial Analyst Irene Smith will provide important financial information for anyone going through or contemplating divorce, including common tax pitfalls most lawyers don’t know about. Breakfast is included.

You may not be thinking about a divorce or going through one, but someone in your life, someone you care about needs this information. We thank you in advance for passing this invitation on.

Also, this month we are offering a free retirement seminar presented by Irene Smith of Smith Financial Management. If you are concerned about the recent economic downturn, then Retirement Illusions: Where do we go from here? is for you. Join us on Tuesday, Sept. 20, from 6:30 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. for a comprehensive review of the challenges you’ll face during retirement and discover strategies for a lifetime retirement plan. Dinner is included. RSVP before Sept. 15, 2011 by calling (818) 884-4888 or RSVP online at www.thelawcollaborative.com/events.htm.

Best wishes,
Ron Supancic, CFLS and Robert Borsky, Esq.
Partners at The Law Collaborative, LLC

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renaître

photo by ivoryelephantphotography via PhotoRee


Renaitre.sweetney.com is a website for divorcing people, people thinking about divorce, people married to divorced people, essentially anyone whose life has been touched by divorce. It is completely anonymous. A true safe haven for people to vent, get helpful ideas and discover ways to cope with divorce and all of its miserable trappings. From the website:

We are a collective of parents going through separation and divorce, or rebuilding our lives in the wake of a divorce.

Some of us are single, some coupled, some remarried.

Some of us are coupled with or married to divorced mothers and fathers.

We welcome all – and offer complete and total anonymity to those who choose to participate, post their stories, and comment.

The categories on the site range from Blended Families to Infidelity to Dating After Separation or Divorce. If you feel like no one could possibly understand what you’re going through, if you feel as if there’s no one you can talk to, visit Renaitre. You may find a little of the support you need. We hope you do.

http://renaitre.sweetney.com/