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Still Family

“At several points during this celebratory day, I happened to be standing next to the bride’s mother when someone from the groom’s side asked us how we were related. She or I pleasantly answered, “We used to be married to the same man.” This response turned out to be a showstopper. The question asker was at a loss to respond. First and second wives aren’t supposed to be amicable or even respectful toward one another. And certainly, first wives are not supposed to be included in their exhusband’s new families. And last of all, first and second wives shouldn’t be willing to comfortably share the information of having a husband in common.”

—  From We’re Still Family by Constance Ahrons

A PhD named Constance Ahrons conducted a landmark study of adult children of divorce, who’s parents she had interviewed during in the throes of their divorce twenty years earlier.  The results of her research are positively hopeful and show how children can thrive even after a divorce.

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  • This is the news that should be making the headlines! Thank you for bringing it forward. As a divorced mom I was firm in my conviction that my mindful parenting would not be corrupted by my marital status – my child deserved no less, just because her father and my relationship changed. That conviction has led me to help other parents “nurture their child’s spirit” through all of the various divorced-parenting situations. Yay to Constance Ahron for her research on this topic. A New Divorce is upon us and children are smiling.

    Ellen Kellner
    The Pro-Child Way: Parenting with an Ex