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News from The Law Collaborative

News from The Law Collaborative

Ron and Robert are pleased to announce that they will be presenting a workshop at the 2011 Orange County Mediation Conference along with Kathryn Dager, President of Profitivity Inc. Be sure to check out our Events page for more information.

Also, this Saturday is Breakfast with Ron and Robert: The Second Saturday Divorce Workshop. This month Irene Smith, CDFA will discuss important financial issues, and Dr. James Walton will discuss the emotional issues that arise during divorce.  You may not need this workshop, but someone you know does. Register by Friday, March 11 and get a 50% discount on the registration fee. Register online at or call our offices at (888)852-9961.

The Marriage Eulogy

By Ty Supancic, Esquire

There is an old saying, “History is written by the winners.” In litigation, there are winners and losers. We believe that when parties in crisis choose mediation over litigation, everyone has the potential to come out a winner. If the winners write history, why can’t the winners in a dissolution write their own history?

Fifty years after a divorce, the children and grandchildren of the original divorcing couple will tell and believe a story about why their parents and grandparents divorced, what kind of people they were, and what aftermath or legacy they left behind. A couple going through a dissolution has the opportunity to write what they would like that story to be. By writing that story, and by keeping that story in mind, they can guide their actions and decisions in such a way that the story can become a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. Without having the story as a guideline, the parties are building without a plan, traveling without a map. They’ll build something and end up somewhere, but not with anything or anywhere they would have hoped.

The exercise of having individuals who are going through a dissolution of marriage write a “Joint Divorce Story” is not a new idea. Ron has been recommending it to his clients for years. Unfortunately, few ever take the time to engage in this useful exercise. Oftentimes they confuse the Joint Divorce Story with a mission statement or their short-term goals. The exercise might be more easily understood if it is renamed “The Marriage Eulogy”.

One of our paralegals, Maria, told me that when she was in high school, the nuns had them write their own eulogy as part of a “Death and Dying” class exercise. The idea was that by writing about all the great things they wanted to be remembered for when they died, one might be guided in making decisions during their lives. The Marriage Eulogy has the same goal.

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Very truly yours,
Ron Supancic, CFLS and Robert Borsky, Esq.
Partners at The Law Collaborative, LLP

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