If you were filing for a divorce thirty years ago, you didn’t have a whole lot of options. Certain laws favored mom, certain laws favored dad. You had to prove there was reasonable cause for the divorce and if the judge thought your reason wasn’t good enough, you didn’t get your divorce. Things worked a certain way and there wasn’t much you could do about it.
Today, we have lots of options. We can mediate or arbitrate, we can collaborate or litigate, we can rent a judge and get divorced at the four seasons or sit at our kitchen table and work it out over coffee and donuts. Unfortunately, most people have no idea there are so many options. Our legal system has been designed for battle, so we hire lawyers slick as knives and we cut each other until we are each bloodied and broken. But what is the point of that? How does that help? How do you heal from a wound cut so deep?
The fact is this: Divorce does not have to leave you bloodied and broken. You can have a divorce where you emerge on the other side with your eyes opened wide to the possibilities of new life. Where you come out standing with your shoulders back and your chin up. It’s up to you. You get to choose which divorce you have; the one with all the blood and gore, or the one where you come out standing straight and strong.
If you want to come out standing, gift yourself with knowledge. Learn everything you can about divorce. What are the laws? What are the laws as they pertain to you? How much support are you entitled to? What about the kids? What are your options? Keep in mind that well-meaning friends do not necessarily know any more than you do about divorce. Just because Sharon’s brother’s cousin got the house does not mean that you’re going to get the house. Get your information from sources that live and breathe divorce law as it stands today. The entire purpose of Ron and Robert’s blog and weekly podcast is to provide free information to the interested public, and there are tons of other reliable book and web resources that can help answer many of your questions without costing you a cent.
While you’re figuring out the legal stuff, you’ve also got to figure out the emotional stuff. Everyone talks about the legal aspects of a divorce, who got what and how much they paid and blah blah blah, but no one talks about the emotional divorce. No one talks about the isolation, the devastation, the terror of the unknown. The emotional stuff can be really tricky and if you need help to figure it out, get help. There are licensed mental health professionals who specialize in helping people deal with the emotional divorce. Asking for help takes courage, so take a deep breath and go for it.
The Second Saturday Divorce Workshop is a first step towards self-empowerment. Over the course of four hours, we hear from a licensed mental health practitioner who discusses the emotional divorce, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst who talks about how divorcing couples can make better informed financial decisions, and a veteran divorce attorney who tells us how we can protect ourselves in court, what the guidelines for spousal and child support are, what the legal divorce process is, how it works and why.
Pre-registration for the Second Saturday Divorce Workshop is $45. For less than the cost of dinner out, you get four hours with three experienced divorce professionals, plus a fantastic breakfast. The next workshop is Saturday, August 14, from 8:30 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. Call us (888) 852-9961 or email Info@TheLawCollaborative.com to register. They’re your kids, it’s your money, it should be your choice.
