Ron and Robert welcome special guest Thomas Trent Lewis, a sitting Superior Court Judge with over 28 years of experience as a family law attorney. Listen as these veteran family law professionals discuss their experiences in the courtroom. (Podcast #49 – Part 1 of 4)
If you’re having a collaborative divorce, you’ve probably heard the term “four-way meeting.” What is it and why is it important?
Collaborative four-ways are like the frame of the house. Within that framework, you will create the outcome that will make up your actual divorce agreement. The quality of the outcome likely will depend on the foundation and the framework that supports it.
In this video, Ron Supancic, Certified Family Law Specialist and collaborative divorce lawyer, talks about how couples can prevent divorce before they get married.
The Law Collaborative – The Changing Face of Divorce from The Law Collaborative on Vimeo.
Photo courtesy of Professor Thorne
David Code, author of To Raise Happy Kids, Put Your Marriage First, wrote a fantastic article for the Huffington Post on why so many marriages end in divorce. We haven’t read his book yet, but this article is really great. Check it out!
Here’s the real reason good marriages can go bad: If a scientist places two rats on a metal grid and then passes an electric current through the grid, every time the rats feel an electric shock they will attack each other. Likewise with humans: when life gets stressful, we instinctively pick a fight with our spouses.
Have you ever looked at your spouse and secretly wondered, “Did I choose the wrong mate?” Many of us marvel at how we could have felt such a powerful chemistry for our mates before we married, but later we catch ourselves daydreaming about divorce.
It’s not our chemistry that failed us. Rather, humans have forgotten we are animals, and we share with animals a little-known, unconscious instinct to scapegoat those around us. That is what drives couples apart. But a simple awareness of our scapegoating instinct can transform how we view our marriages.
In Part Five of the Step By Step Guide to Divorce, Ron and Robert discuss the important financial aspects of divorce in California, including why sending your divorce through the California Legal System could have serious tax implications.
Please join us for our next Second Saturday Divorce Workshop on 09/11/2010. See below for additional info.
From The News-Herald in Northern Ohio:
“It leaves the people themselves in charge of making the decisions that are going to affect their future. This is especially helpful for parties who are parents. Collaboration is an internationally recognized process. If done properly, this can be the least damaging, healthiest way to help people get through a horrible, horrible time in their lives. This whole movement started because practitioners realized, that time, money and attorneys fees are at stake.”
Read more about how some families are opting for a friendlier divorce.
San Francisco collaborative lawyer Pauline Tesler answers one of our most frequently asked questions. “Is collaborative divorce right for me?”
There is a lot we can do to help our children survive divorce. One of the single most determining factors as to whether or not a child will successfully survive divorce is how much their parents fight with each other after the breakup. If a parent wants to do one thing that will ensure their kids do well after their divorce, they should stop fighting.
Another contributing factor to the successful survival of divorce by children is the amount of steady contact they have with the non-resident parent. In addition, children are helped if they know and are assured by their parents that they thought through the decision to divorce thoroughly and at length. Parents need to be able to tell their children that the forthcoming divorce is not something that came about impulsively.
Parents need to go to their children and tell them how badly they feel about the decision to divorce. They need to offer whatever explanation they believe they have for the decision without placing blame on someone else. And they owe their children an apology for the breakup of the family. Even if you, the parent, knows the divorce is for the better, to the child it feels as if their entire world has broken in half. When you apologize to your child and empathize with their pain, you help them understand that the divorce is not their fault. Your honest apology releases them from intolerable guilt and a false sense of responsibility. They also find a positive role model in the thoughtful, considerate parent who is willing to take responsibility honestly, without compaining.
Read our Checklist for Divorcing Parents for more ideas on how to help your kids get through the divorce.
